How I Guaranteed A Life of Misery

For 30-plus years I chased a life of misery within the corporate world, I did this all for a dream that I didn't really know what it was, or even how I would even achieve this so-called dream


Shane Lifeman

5/23/20234 min read

black ring bell alarm clock
black ring bell alarm clock

I used to go to bed just knowing and dreading that the sound of my alarm clock would rudely awaken me hours later. Just this sound alone first thing in the morning would put me in a bad mood. However, waking up to this sound only reminded me that my working day was about to start, and I was heading off to be once again a slave to the grind for which I had grown to resent.

I made a decision when I was entering the workforce. That decision entailed me chasing the money. My thought process at the time was this. I could sacrifice 40 hours a week out of my life. Then with the money I earned. I could then turn around and do what I wanted and enjoyed and live the life I truly wanted, or so I thought I wanted. It sounded like a plan to me. But this simple plan never came to be.

Over the next 30 years, I did just that. I became a slave to the grind. I punched that time clock 7800 plus times. In doing so, I bought the house, then the cars. I raised the 2.5 kids and did everything else that the so-called living the dream would entail.

What nobody ever tells you is this so-called living the dream, for which no one can tell you what it is or how you achieve this dream. Also, everybody who chases this so-called dream never tells you that this dream can come with a massive price. Therefore, whenever you think success is within your reach, you then experience the goal line being moved further out of your reach.

During my 30-year career, I would climb the corporate ladder of success, only to come crashing down way too many times to count due to the relocation of the goal line. I would then turn around and repeat this cycle. They say the definition of insanity is to repeat the same thing, over and over again while each time expecting a different outcome. So, was I living a life of insanity for 30 years? All I will say is if the definition of insanity is what I described, then no comment on this question.

In a previous blog titled, I left The Rat Race — To Live Free To Live Life (You can read it HERE). I mentioned waking up when I was 48, feeling all alone, and feeling like I had nothing when I had it all and then some. At that moment, I realized I was living my life to what I thought others viewed as a success. Yes, I was living my life according to the approval and judgment of others, whom I wanted to impress, but did not know or were in my life in any capacity. It was due to this that I was living a life of misery. I was not happy with my job or career path. I was not pleased with the way my life was turning out. I was frustrated that I had decided to work ridiculous hours to live this façade of life for the approval of others. Simply put, I was not happy living this life of misery, and It was time to make some changes.

What specific changes would these be? I had no idea at the time. It took me a few years to discover what I enjoyed and wanted in my life. Up until that point in time, all my life consisted of was work and broken relationships. I had made my life complicated, and I had made my life a life of misery, and I was addicted to that life.

I knew I had to figure some things out. The biggest being what my new life path would entail. I also needed to figure out what I was looking for and wanted in a life partner since I was no longer willing to compromise for anything less. I didn’t need that special someone in my life, but I wanted that special someone. I also asked myself, am I willing to remain single if I never find this person? To this, I answered yes. I also figured out some life goals and dreams. It took a while, almost 4-years to be exact, but I figured out what I really enjoyed and wanted in life. Truth be told. It was nothing compared to the way I was living my life previously. It turned out all I wanted was a simpler life. I wanted to live smaller and simpler but also larger I just wanted to live life and experience what it had to offer.

One thing I figured out was when I realized I was living a life of misery. I was investing all my time, energy, and money into everything except for one thing. I wasn’t investing anything into, Myself. So it was finally time to close this chapter in my life and start putting the time and energy into me and the type of life I wanted to live. It was time to invest in me and enjoy the dividends it paid. It didn’t take me long to realize that these dividends would pay off significantly.

I have been asked several times by people who knew me at various times throughout my life, and our paths have crossed again, would I have changed anything? To this, I would answer not one bit. Life is a journey, and you learn from this journey. You make mistakes in life, and you learn from these mistakes, but you also try not to make the same mistake twice. What it comes down to is asking yourself am I living a life of misery, or am I living the life I want? Am I living my life for me, or am I living my life to impress others? If the answer is yes to a life of misery, then ask yourself why and what you need to do to change this so you can live the life you want

Life is simple. It only gets complicated if you make it that way. Sometimes it takes time and a lot of mistakes to realize this.

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